There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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