Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
