Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
