After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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