somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
