Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I got inside last night via doggy door
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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