I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I have tasted many bathrooms
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
