Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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