ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
