You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
