I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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