whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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