I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
