Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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