Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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