If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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