is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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