this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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