I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
