before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
