My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
