Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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