i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
