Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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