I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
