ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
