So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
