I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
