while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
