Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
