I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
