Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
