All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Randomize
