I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Farmville is her only friend.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
