let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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