i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
