i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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