so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
