You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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