come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
