I want to make a zoo with you.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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