Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
ttyl tear gas
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
