the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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