It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
