I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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