I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
