Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
