Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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