Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
