I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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