How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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