That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
