A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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