So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
