She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
